Even after twenty years on North Chelton Road,
I never ate a plum from the tree my dad planted
in our backyard because the deer always beat me
before I could know what came from the blossoms
they nibbled on, believing magic was at the root of
everything back then – the only explanation for
why the moon always followed me home, fireflies,
kaleidoscopes, Santa Claus, the protective power
of my blanket, the uniqueness of snowflakes, or
airplanes trailing white lines across chalkboard
skies, leaving behind run–on sentences scribbled
among eraser marked clouds, before I could even
pronounce cumulonimbus or nimbostratus –
syllables too rich for my palate which craved
Halloween candy and densely–packed mud pies,
back when I kept track of lady bug spots instead of
pounds lost, and age was determined by polka dots,
not sunspots or blood clots in underwear, before
bumps sprouted into breasts and the alphabet
turned into a barometer of desirability so C
was no longer for cat but for curvy, and I was
still only kissed by my grandmother’s pruned lips,
not yet by boys who would play truth or dare or
huddle around an empty beer bottle because love
was a risk that merely required a flick of the wrist,
and wanting only lasted for seven minutes since
that’s how long it took to experience heaven
inside a utility closet that reeked of lemon cleaner
and hot breath with angels listening at the door,
and those same boys who pretended to be princes
by saying forever too freely would someday stain me
with bruises and pits I would hold onto in secrecy
even after twenty years on North Chelton Road.
Caroline Laganas earned an MFA in Creative Writing from California Institute of the Arts and a BA in Journalism from Pepperdine University. Her work has been supported by the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference, Kenyon Review Writers Workshop, and Napa Valley Writers’ Conference. She was an International Merit Award winner in the Atlanta Review 2022 International Poetry Competition. Her poems have appeared in Five Points, New Orleans Review, Poetry East, and others. She is currently writing and illustrating her first book of poetry.
